Some small Joke... ^ ^ (No offend)

They used to say. "Behind EVERY SUCCESSFUL MAN stand a woman."
Now it's changed to " Behind every success man stands a woman - and behind every woman stands a wife."

They say money dose not grow on trees.
If that is so. Then why do banks have so many brandies?

The doctor is the only man who can tell a woman to take off all her clothes and then send the bill to her husband.

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."

It's true that money cann't buy happiness;
but happiness cannot buy groceries.

Professor: Give me a good example of coincidence.
Student: My father and mother happened to get married on the same day.

Oscar Wilde once said, "Men marry because they are tired. Women marry because they are curious. Both are disappointed."

3 forms of money
Money spent.
Money yet to be earned.
Money you will never live to use.

One restaurant advertises by placing a sign on its door, "Our steaks are so tender, we don't know how that cow could walk."

After God created earth, he relaxed.
After God created man, they relaxed.
But after God created woman, no one has ever had a chance to relax.

Son: Dad, I am not going to school any more.
 I think my teacher has gone crazy.
Dad: Why, what happened son?
Son: Well, you see dad, the other day the teacher
 said 4 and 5 are 9 and this morning she said
 3 and 6 are 9.